Listening

Do we always hear only what we want to hear? Do we sometimes ignore what people are telling us because we secretly hope that it is not so? Is there a momentary pause while we hold our breath hoping the next words are not real? Probably one of the most detrimental things we do to ourselves as well as others is not listen. We close our mind to the words penitrating our ears. As the sound reverbrates across the membrane to the bones that are pulsed by muscles almost too small to see, we are left to interperate what it is we're hearing. Our mind's ears leave some words out, and select the ones that matter. There is a key flaw in this methodology of listening. We loose the information that is intended. We are clouded by the way our paradigm filters the facts. There is no way to see the other point of view or hear what someone is actually saying when we wont accept it. The words can cross the barier all they want, but we don't HEAR them because we wont accept them.
Sometimes these words are painful things. Sometimes it's not what we want to hear. Sometimes we are left with only the want to change the other person's view. This is a hard place to be. It does not feel good, nor does it seem fair. But words inevitably mean things. They have purpose and intensity. When we use them to cover things up, or hide what is true they are hurtful and spiteful. They cause nothing but damage. We loose much when we use words for that purpose. Rarely do words used for deciete get us what we truely want. And words that are used honestly, truthfully are the purest. They bring us exactly what we want. Though not always in the moment. Sometimes we say what is honest ( in a tactful and appropriate way) and we do not get what we think we want. Then later, when we've healed from that childlike initial disapointment, we find what we came for. It is as beautiful as the truth we told.
These are hard facts to learn. We usually keep learning them over and over as we grow old. Our minds must refine the technique and perfect the verbosity and vocabulary, but we eventually get it. Words mean things. . . And we are defined by the words we chose to use, and when we chose to use them.