Monday, June 17, 2013
There will be people who upset you. They will hurt your feelings. It's going to make you mad, and sometimes you will be so offended you wish you could just destroy the person. No, not vaporize them. Destroy them. Show them for the fraud they really are. Or, more importantly, the fraud you think they are. You are not perfect. Neither am I. I take offense. I get my feelings hurt. Things bother me. It's called life! Finding an outlet for those things is what keeps us all sane. We can get up, go to work, and smile at the people who have wounded our feelings because they heal after we let them go. For some people they can run it off. Others need a touch of violence and shoot paper targets, or obliterate punching bags. Some of us write, or dance, or sing. I have a sister who would get upset and start baking bread. It was delicious! Kneading the bread burnt through the pain and frustration and allowed for a healthy release. Personally I have more than one outlet. Through my life I have used several. Sometimes I danced it off. My most beautiful choreography came from the pain of my abuse. My need to express the hurt, and my longing to be free. Other times I have written about it. Shedding the layers of distrust, and frustration through sentence after sentence of words. Occasionally I can get away with photography. The point is that these activities allow the emotion to be captured. Literally. It is a snap shot to everyone else. To me it is everything I do not wish to hold inside. All of those thoughts and feels wrapped into a cohesive, or not so cohesive, paragraph, pleá, or blurred image. I leave them there. Allowing that place to be the only place they exist. For a long time this will not make sense. But you will see the prudence in it as time goes. And it always goes. Without a healthy outlet the human body will absorb those emotions. Which by technical definition are nothing more than hormones, and electrochemical responses in the system. It's why there can often be a confusion between the emotion of a moment, and the spirit of the moment. They are not the same. Learn their differences. By allowing those chemicals and electric charges to be present for long periods affects the body. When allowing a negative charge, and chemicals to remain we break down the tissue on a very atomic level. It wears you out! Those are the moments when using the technique that releases them into a captive moment in time you trap them outside yourself. Away from you they can be seen for what they are. Things to be gotten over, and left in the past. Do not drag them forward to weigh down the very cells of your body. Let them stay contained in the moment of somato-emotional release. I'm not saying I'm perfect at this process, but I have learned its value and I make attempts to use it as often as possible; albeit at the expense of some relations yes. But I swear to you it is worth it! To be able to forgive both myself and anyone affected. To walk away clean, without any of those bad miserable chemicals running through my blood wreaking havoc. It feels lighter. Now, along with doing this yourself I implore you to recognize when others do it. Do not hang on to their container of hurt. Let it set where it lies. Do NOT over compensate, attempt to make amends endlessly, or throw yourself to their mercy. People get hurt. Though you shouldn't intentionally ignore their hurt, I wish you to not keep bringing it up. It's almost just as hurtful to continue to walk on eggshells around them as the initial injury. Granted not everyone can let go like I try to, but it's wasted energy. People will see the attempts and either abuse them, Mia-interpret them, or be annoyed by them. I have been guilty of intentionally avoiding people because they tried too hard to avoid offending me. Which inevitably offended me. I am a paradox, I don't like the confrontation of a used car salesman, but I can not abide a person who fawns over me with the desire to not offend! Having grown up in an opinionated family; I believe that everyone will be offended at some point. The important thing is to not intentionally offend. Accidents happen. And with proper outlets everything can be forgiven. If I can forgive the Major for what happened during those 6 years I can most certainly get over having my feelings hurt. It will not be the last time either! The world will not see things my way! I'm not perfect, so it bloody well shouldn't! Se le vie. So is life. In other words; put your smile on, saddle up, and get over it. Find a way to let it go. To leave it in the past where it belongs. There are too many things happening around you to be focused on that. So yes, I get my feelings hurt. You will too! I hope that it happens regularly so you can practice letting go of what hurts, and embracing what lifts you up. Find your outlet, make it a healthy one, and don't let anyone change it until you're ready for a new one. And when you hurt someone's feelings, apologize. Then help them let go of the hurt by moving forward WITH them. If they are ready to move past it, don't keep groveling! Walk beside them to a place where it has been healed. You will both be glad you did. And if the person can't let go and you are more than ready to move on.... Go without them. But know that they will never follow you. If you feel that someone who has offended you can't move past it, help them to walk with you into the future. Don't let them debase themselves by dwelling on what hurt they caused you. It diminishes your character and makes them look foolish and weak. Help make them strong. Life is full of disappointments. Deal with them, and let the scars heal. Scars create strength. If you keep moving the scar strengthens without binding. You retain movement and life, and build strength.