Friday, March 29, 2013

Compare and Contrast

Is married life supposed to be all fair tales and magic? Is it really any different than the regular life you've been living with your best friend? I suppose that in most of the world where men and women live together long before the wedding that it isn't any different. I suppose that people asking me all the time "Hows Married Life?!" is just a conversation starter, and that they aren't really meaning to pry. But for someone who, although not secretive, can be private the question is annoying and feels more like prying than anything. What happens in the closed doors of my home with my husband is no ones business but my own. I tend to not understand where there's supposed to be a major difference between life before I married a good man and after. It also seems that My response distresses the In-Laws. Like I don't know that my husband is amazing. Sometimes people are not more amazing than the other person. Sometimes two amazing people find each other, and one is not more amazing than the other. My family has a tradition; we leave the married couple alone. We ask how the individual is doing. We know and understand that both are extraordinary people and that their lives together aren't made better or amazing BY the other person. They are merely combined and stay amazing. So the idea that just because I've never trusted another man the way I trust this one would change my life. . . I guess I'm just that jaded. My life is no different. He doesn't go home at night, but other than that there is no difference between what I am now and what I was 8 months ago. I am insulted at the idea that I was incapable of creating an extraordinary life before He came along. That it took another human being to make me amazing. I have worked my whole life, through troubles, and through some of the darkest moments to find joy and happiness. To come out the other side clean and happy. There are a lot of scars, but that doesn't mean that I'm imperfect. That I'm not as amazing as the other half. For a marriage to work both halves must be wholes, and they must be equals. So no, when two amazing things come together that are equal there's not much change. They just stay amazing. It would be a lie to say that it doesn't hurt to think that I am somehow viewed as less than the man I married. The idea that just because he was a good man that my life becomes something more than what I was aiming for to begin with. I don't understand why life should be any different. It's the same path, the same route, the same goal. Now there are merely 2 pieces traveling the road. No load is lighter, no goal is different, no real change other than a little conversation along the way.