Monday, July 13, 2015
Milk Mustaches, and Dirty Fingernails
I have a real issue with people who take man bashing as a responsibility. They constantly point out moments where Men should be doing something simply because "they should know", or because "we, as women, don't have to be asked.". Well that may very well be true, but can you honestly say that men think the same way women do? I'm pretty sure that there are a plethora of studies saying that they don't. So the idea that you may have to "ask" or "remind" them of things we never have to ask or remind them of shouldn't be a surprise. We don't gain anything as women by degrading them. There are misogynists and there are misandrists. For anyone who doesn't know what Misandry is; it's the hate of men. I just get so tired of watching Mothers who don't like their children's Dad, or had a bad relationship teaching younger boys that they aren't worth a thing. They don't say it directly to them; no they're far more devious than that. They say things to other adults, they have facial expressions, and tear these poor boys apart one moment at a time. Then they end up married to women who are emotionally abusive. The idea that anyone would think that asking your husband to stay home so you can go out with the girls, or wherever is wrong… I'm sorry, I thought that the fact that He went to work, helped with the house work when He got home, assisted with raising the child/children, made time for you, AND attempted to also make time for extended family kinda gets him off the hook for remembering your "girls night". I will admit that unless it's on my calendar I have no idea it's happening. So if my Husband wants me to be aware of an activity He's planning to attend, He puts it on the calendar. Also, I don't "ask" Him to babysit. I confirm that there isn't any last minute conflicts within that week, or things that didn't make it on the calendar. Not because I'm subservient, or my Husband is an inconsiderate jerk, but because sometimes we all need a reminder. It also helps to confirm that nothing slipped through the cracks. It's about communication. We ask to be respectful of all the hard things they do all day to make us feel comfortable. We ask to show them that we are considering their feelings. Most importantly we ask to show our children that Men have value too. In the same way our husbands buy flowers because it's tuesday. For the same reason that we kiss each other in front of the children, and verbally express affection/gratitude for each other. Children need us as adults to STOP berating each other for our genders. We are partners in this crazy world. I really do wish that women would just accept that men are as annoying to us as we are to them. For all the faults they have they are good. And raising good sons is highly dependent on mothers who are willing to lift their husbands up. Women who will show sons that even with faults and flaws; they are worth a forgiving smile, a sigh, a kiss, and our continued support and love. I know many women who I would identify as "fem-nazis". They are so busy creating a world in which they are completely 100% equal with men that they forget that they already are. We are as equal as we can be! Women, biologically, are not the same as men. We were never designed to be 100% the same. The idea that You would WANT to be is what seems insane to me. I am happy with my place. I am happy to be the emotional side of a logical partnership. Anyone with good business sense will tell you that a successful business needs to have 2 people who are different. A visionary/Idea person ( aka the emotional one) and a Technician/logical person (aka the "insensitive bustard"). These two come together and create something that works. They balance each other and ensure that the visionary doesn't dream so far beyond the means of the partnership before the venture gets going, and that the technician is pushed to see things they would not have otherwise been able to imagine. It's beautiful really! Our young men/boys need to see this. Our girls need to stop being afraid of men who know their place, and are totally comfortable with themselves. It's ok to admit that your place is "in the kitchen". I'd be willing to bet that if you made a decent sandwich He'd jump out of bed the minute He heard the fridge open and rush in to be with you. Because, well lets be honest, everyone belongs in the kitchen. . . that's where the food is. He'll probably clean up the mess after you're done making that amazing sandwich. Spoiling your man doesn't mean you're less than him. It means you recognize the effort He has put into being a GOOD man. If you're spoiling the wrong man, that's kinda your problem. Stop spoiling that man, and find the good guy with a steady job, a healthy sense of himself, and a purpose. Then watch as you're "spoiling" turns into his complete and total adoration. His inability to imagine his life without you. That's equality to me. Different roles, that both support the healthy, balanced relationships of happy homes.