Currently Epic

In the currently epic words of Live ". . . Burnt to the core but not broken. . " I have passed my nationals exam and can now add LMT ,or CMT to my name. I have lost my marriage, my friend, my future lover, my apitite, and my will. I aparently am burnt to the core, but not broken.
In Wine country there is a little known ritual that usually escapes anyone who doesn't actually grow the grapes, or live there long enough to see a truely devistating fire. If there is a fire the first thing you do is try to put it out and stop it from burning everything( yes I know that's cow sense, but hear me out). The second thing you do is check the vines that have been burnt to see if the fire reached to the core, or if it has left the roots and stock intact. If the stock is still good you can expect to have new leaves next year, and new grapes soon after. If it is burnt through you must check the roots. If the root is still good the plant can be salvaged. It is a long arduous process and it takes many many years to recover the fruit. You may not be submitting wine at next years wine tasting, but you will be able to recover the thing you love. . . Your vineyard. I am burnt. I am burnt past the outer layers and into my core. I hurt, I bleed, I cry, I pray, I lament, I mourn, I am burnt. Passing this exam proves that there is a sign of life. A root that is still good. It will be many years before fruit is produced, but in the mean time there will be subsiquent signs of life. They will be small, and even I may miss them from time to time. I have no idea what to do besides do what had been planed. To not deviate from the mission plan and continue trudging forward like nothing has changed. To show that I am standing, and have been standing, on my own. That I survive everything that happens no matter how deeply it burns. To prove that even if I may not have seemed like I was worth it before, I AM the best thing that will ever happen to you. You will NOT forget me. I will haunt the most quiet moments of your day, and the most silent beatings of your heart. I will be there. Because roots reach far deeper into our souls. I will not be there in anger, but in love. In pure, uninhibited, unconditional love. The kind of love that heals us when we have nothing left to give. The kind of love that pours energy into our being when we open ourselves to it. The kind of love that accepts our mistakes and tells us that we are loved anyway. THAT is how I will be felt. With the surest knowledge that the plant, and the fruit are good. That putting the effort into the vineyard to recover the plant is more important than replacing it with a new one. It will be hard work, but it will pay off. And the gratitude of a plant who's been tended, and loved after this kind of a disaster is one hundredfold every time.

Burnt to the core, but not broken.