Keep Calm and Chive On

Love is a craving we all have. It fills the deepest parts of our engines. We are fueled by it and we know it. Somewhere deep in our inner most parts we know it. Our confusion over Lust and Love is understandable. If you don't have true Love as a child you have no idea how to replicate it. We go from Lust to Lust and feel mildly satiated, but never full. It is then a strange and undefinable moment when we suddenly encounter true Love. I'm not talking about the Snow White singing to with the birds, and rabbits, and dancing raccoons. I'm talking about the Love that drives the human spirit to unending hope, humility, and insane bravery. It's the sort of things that gets you to buy a plane ticket home for Christmas after not having talked to your family for 10 years. It tells you to drop money in an old mans cup as he sits hunched on the sidewalk. It tells you that the morning will be beautiful even if you're living in hell. And what does all this mean to me? It means I have a 12yr old husky who doesn't like to sleep, a wedding reception I'm trying to plan for some people who seem to think the only way to get married is with a huge party, and bills to pay. on very little sleep i've managed to upset my healthy diet with copious amounts of caffein, get most things for the wedding done, and convince my dog that she can hold still for 3 hours while I sleep. I really don't understand what's wrong with Punch and cookies. Most receptions are over the top and annoying. People HATE them. The best wedding I ever went to was one where the whole thing was 3 hours. from the bridal march to the send off. It took them 2 minutes to exchange vows after a pastor had taken 5 minutes to wed them. then they cut the cake, danced, and invited us to dance. 3 hours later they were on their way and we were all headed home. Wanna know what they served? Russian Wedding Cookies.. or mexican wedding balls; which ever you call them, and punch. BEST. RECEPTION. EVER. I hate those cookies, but I loved the simplicity of it all. I will never forget the conversations, the photo's, the laughter. It was small and intimate. Personally I will take intimate over the public spectacle. I'm not a celebrity, and I have no desire to be. So why would I want hundreds of people to parade through a room and pretend to be happy for me when they have NO F&$%ing clue who I am?! " oh but Deb, the more people you invite the more presents!". . . I have lived on my own for 10+ years. If I need something I earn the money to buy it. I've got everything I need, and even somethings I want. I don't even want presents! I want simple. I want to be surrounded by the people who care for me the most, and I want to enjoy them as we celebrate the beginning of a new chapter. THAT is what weddings are about. people just get out of control. I will confess that I've reached a place where I'm not even sure I want to get married anymore. Pretty much done. I just think there are things more important that presents. I think the time with family is of more significance to quality of life. I gotta walk Makaio. She's starting to whimper. Plus I had laundry in the dryer I should probably get. So, I'll go take my dog for a run and retrieve my laundry. You find a reason to do more than Lust, and discover what true Love is.