Three Months Late, and One Fiddy short.

I've been meaning to write this for a while. I saw a friend post something to Facebook. Something I don't typically take too seriously. It happened right after the election and referenced the way each man talked about his wife. The emphasis placed on the word "chose", to be exact. Here's my thought. I would rather be "chosen" than not. My logic comes from this line of thinking; Most people who are considered chosen are above the caliber, and higher quality than those surrounding them. It implies that the man saw his wife as the woman of his dreams. Like so many "chosen" people in fairy tales, only she could save his world from desolation. The barren waste of lonely existence could only be averted if she saved him. Not just any woman would do either, mind you, there was only one. The idea that it would be degrading for a woman to be the chosen person in a mans life is beyond me. Granted we don't tend to lean that direction when thinking about it, but I like to believe that the romantic in that man ( which I saw because I bothered to observe)saw this woman as his saving grace. That without her, he would be a lonely miserable, worthless human being. Oh what honors and Grace is bestowed on a woman who can win a man's mind to the point where he knows he is nothing without her. That his only choice to be saved from a useless existence is the one where he musters every ounce of courage, places his pride, his dignity, his very life on the alter and begs her to marry him. THAT is the choice. The one where he stoops below what his ego would allow and asks her to save him. Again, I offer that it is better to be chosen, than to have been the one to choose. Although marriage is a solemn ordinance in which two people help to save each other through encouragement and growth; I do not believe that either one can say they did not feel the uplifting love, and compassion of the other in the courting process. As well, it can be measured that healthy, solid relationships are usually made from two people who will, often times, willing admit that the other person is the most amazing person they've ever known. There is a mutual adoration that should always be there. Each should lift the other, and not forget that it was an act of Agency that brought them to that place. That they sacrificed pride, and ego to get Home. Either way, I find it romantic that he admitted to a nation that he chose a woman to make him a better man.

Keep Calm and Chive On

Love is a craving we all have. It fills the deepest parts of our engines. We are fueled by it and we know it. Somewhere deep in our inner most parts we know it. Our confusion over Lust and Love is understandable. If you don't have true Love as a child you have no idea how to replicate it. We go from Lust to Lust and feel mildly satiated, but never full. It is then a strange and undefinable moment when we suddenly encounter true Love. I'm not talking about the Snow White singing to with the birds, and rabbits, and dancing raccoons. I'm talking about the Love that drives the human spirit to unending hope, humility, and insane bravery. It's the sort of things that gets you to buy a plane ticket home for Christmas after not having talked to your family for 10 years. It tells you to drop money in an old mans cup as he sits hunched on the sidewalk. It tells you that the morning will be beautiful even if you're living in hell. And what does all this mean to me? It means I have a 12yr old husky who doesn't like to sleep, a wedding reception I'm trying to plan for some people who seem to think the only way to get married is with a huge party, and bills to pay. on very little sleep i've managed to upset my healthy diet with copious amounts of caffein, get most things for the wedding done, and convince my dog that she can hold still for 3 hours while I sleep. I really don't understand what's wrong with Punch and cookies. Most receptions are over the top and annoying. People HATE them. The best wedding I ever went to was one where the whole thing was 3 hours. from the bridal march to the send off. It took them 2 minutes to exchange vows after a pastor had taken 5 minutes to wed them. then they cut the cake, danced, and invited us to dance. 3 hours later they were on their way and we were all headed home. Wanna know what they served? Russian Wedding Cookies.. or mexican wedding balls; which ever you call them, and punch. BEST. RECEPTION. EVER. I hate those cookies, but I loved the simplicity of it all. I will never forget the conversations, the photo's, the laughter. It was small and intimate. Personally I will take intimate over the public spectacle. I'm not a celebrity, and I have no desire to be. So why would I want hundreds of people to parade through a room and pretend to be happy for me when they have NO F&$%ing clue who I am?! " oh but Deb, the more people you invite the more presents!". . . I have lived on my own for 10+ years. If I need something I earn the money to buy it. I've got everything I need, and even somethings I want. I don't even want presents! I want simple. I want to be surrounded by the people who care for me the most, and I want to enjoy them as we celebrate the beginning of a new chapter. THAT is what weddings are about. people just get out of control. I will confess that I've reached a place where I'm not even sure I want to get married anymore. Pretty much done. I just think there are things more important that presents. I think the time with family is of more significance to quality of life. I gotta walk Makaio. She's starting to whimper. Plus I had laundry in the dryer I should probably get. So, I'll go take my dog for a run and retrieve my laundry. You find a reason to do more than Lust, and discover what true Love is.

's Wonderful -Ella Fitzgerald

I believe in laughter. I believe in not taking life too seriously. I believe you can laugh at everything, and that although somethings are sacred, you can laugh at just about everything. I do not believe your opinions are any less important, but most certainly not more important than my own. But most of all I believe in being a better person today than you were yesterday. If you can't belong to something, or believe in something, or do something that makes you better; you're a waste of the human condition. No but seriously... Lighten up. Sometimes I wonder if people understand the idea of accountability. They seem to think that by limiting ones freedoms you somehow create a better person. Wrong. Pigeon holing a human spirit is the fastest way to create a disastrously dangerous society. Granted anarchy isn't much better, but if life has taught me anything it's that the extremes are never the correct answer. The closer to the center you aim the more on target you are... It's that simple. I know, it's a ground breaking thought, but they kept telling me to aim for the center in archery too. Seems like someone had it right back in the dark ages when they made a target with a noticeable indicator of center ground. It works that way morally too. Aim for the center. Banning all guns is bad, but giving people carte Blanche is also bad. Having some rules in place to remind people to use common sense is more than likely your best option. ( btw have you ever tried to blog from your smart phone? Stupid auto-correct and funky keyboard size... Throwing me way off) likewise with alcohol (prohibition anyone?), drugs, seat belts ( tell me you fasten yours when riding in the back seat and I'll call you a liar.), texting, jut about anything. The more we restrict it the easier it is for criminals to make money off it. People crave agency, and structure. Seemingly incompatible, but both capable of co-existing. In fact you can't really have one without the other. To have agency you need a frame work of consequences that are unchanging. To have an unchanging structure of consequence that aren't just pretty words without power you need people to have the agency to chose them. Shoot at me, I will take aim at you. Not a bad thing, just a consequence of your decision. Hug me, I will hug you back. Agency- consequence. Amazing how this seems to escape most politicians right? But here's the biggest enemy to agency; fear. Fear creates a state of anxiety in which you are willing to give your freedom of agency to another who can no better decide for you your consequences than I can predict the weather tomorrow without looking at the forecast. It sounds good, but how the heck do I know?! Allowing someone to take your agency is not freedom, it's slavery. Pure and simple. Make no mistake about it the people leading you want slaves, not equals. If they wanted equals their pay checks wouldn't be any bigger than yours. This is a serious matter. Which I chose to laugh about while I watch the world circle the drain into oblivion knowing my humble opinion means nothing without he numbers backing it. And since I'm making as much as the rest of you we all know I'm not changing the world anytime soon. All I can do is fill my corner of the world with laughter and the occasional funny observation from Ike to Ike. Hoping that these little rays of sunshine will inspire someone to take back heir agency and fight against the tyranny of accountability without choice.